If you ever lost an animal like they ran away or passed away. Then believe me I know how you feel. I had to put down my rabbit I loved and cherished. The way I believe even though I am a Christian and know animals have no soul (plz don't hate for me saying they have no soul but you can have an opinion) but I say she is in a better place just so I can feel better! Just think like that and maybe just maybe you will feel good.