Chapter 11 (Struggling with Emotions, with Identity, and with Who to Trust.)
Stop, don't say a word. Just keep moving, they won't know what's wrong if you never let them.
Just keep running. If they can't keep up, they'll never, ever see your true hurt.
They'll never know if you hide behind books, if you keep working so hard you never have to see them again.
Just move.
Don't tell them the truth. They'll never accept you. You may have told someone the truth- but that was only half the truth, the part they wouldn't judge you so harshly about.
Everyone has problems. Don't let them see yours.
Never... never... never open up.
If you do, the ones you love will only hurt you.
Like... like they did last time.
Like they've always done.
Like they always will do.
Just keep running, away from your friends.
Away from your problems.
Away from the dark.
But it only catches up again, to bite at your heels like a cat playing with it's prey. You should be that cat.
But it never lets go. It only keeps on. It keeps running right with you.
It will only keep coming, and you will never escape.
There's no way out.
No one can save you.
You're left to struggle alone.
But maybe, if you become the struggle...
if you become the evil you so struggle against...
you may have a chance.
But then you'll be lost.
You'll be lost to everyone.
Even...even yourself.
Chapter 13 (Memory of Her Abuse Back In the Orphanage; Struggle with Reality.)
The world was shaky, everything was loud. And I felt nothing but pain.
Pain screamed in my head, but wrapped itself around my stomach and put to my chest, squeezing.
The boy had his arm wrapped around my nose and mouth, choking me.
I pulled, he tightened, and nothing was silent.
Screams filled the air. My screams, his laughs, my labored breathing, and his cheers.
The pain.
Make it stop.
He laughs again.
I cry again.
He doesn't let go..
The world went dark, everything was silent, and all I felt was pain.
The pain never lets go. If it did I wouldn't notice.
Cuz I've always had pain.
No one notices.
Not even the loud-mouthed Slytherin, or his quiet brother.
Not my parent.
I only notice, cuz I'm the only thing in their worlds that isn't real.
Chapter 15 Pt1 (Being Singled Out; Hurting Those You Love)
What does it feel like to be left out?
Like a snake coiling around your heart, which grows harder and turns into stone.
Nothing can heal it
Nothing can heal
Your heart of amber
Encasing what you once held dear
And now has only killed them.
Chapter 15 Pt2 (Wishing She Could Change.)
But the venom from the snakes
from the blue-eyed snakes that I call
my friends
have only made me take life seriously
and begin to dissolved my heart of amber
ever since I saw them
I realized
I'm not alone
and that
maybe
just maybe
I can help them change
and then change with them
Chapter 15 Pt3 (Relating to How Fragile She Is Mentally.)
I stood outside the window,
on the grass,
watching the kids play,
and thought,
they haven't been hurt and they never will be.
But when I am, my heart will only shatter.
The amber will break,
and all of the emotions encased inside
will finally be free.
Chapter 17 Pt1 (Memory of Luna Telling Her She Has the Power to Stop Her Inner Evil.)
Listen to me, Asia.
You're special.
Parents always say that to their kids, but I mean it.
You're really, really special. I can't say how much of that you are.
But others will view you as a snotty, maybe even unfair, type of person.
All because of the fact you're not like them.
You have knowledge beyond your years, and skill beyond your classmates.
But, you need to keep your cards close to your chest.
You've done a great job with that already.
Keep them waiting.
As the saying goes,
"Speak and they'll think you're a fool.
But become silent and they're become curious."
I know about your inner demons,
but you have the power to stop them.
Chapter 17 Pt2 (Feeling of Loss; Feeling of Leading a Fake Life)
I fall like a cherry blossom in spring.
The wind carries me up and down, like
emotions, fake and real.
I can't stop it.
I can't stop anything.
I fall again, twirling in a stream of disbelief.
The wind brings me up.
It knows
But at the same time it doesn't.
What is it?
A friend?
An enemy?
I don't know,
but I care...
I fall down like the cherry blossom,
but this time
I'll never move again,
unless another gust of wind
no matter if it's my friend or my foe
comes along to help.
Chapter 19 ("Why?")
Why?
The question that drives us all.
Why are we here? Why do we do what we do?
I... I can never find the answer...
I should ask around.
I should find a common factor,
I should ask and find the common answer.
Then, that may be the answer.
Graphs, books, and facts
can't prove everything.
I... I wish they could.
I would have a solid foundation.
But, I only have sinking sand,
and I just keep falling.
Chapter 19pt2 (Feeling Pain as If It is Comfort)
I walk the empty halls.
The windows make the halls drafty.
Cold, and nipping on my bare ankles.
I only have on a short dress that barely covers my lower thighs.
I can feel everything.
The cold, the pain.
And no way to be warm.
I continue to walk
the floor chilly to my feet.
I step outside.
It's snowing.
I look up.
It's only swirling white.
I feel the cold all around me. I feel the pain all on me.
It seeps deeper.
And deeper.
Until it reaches my heart.
It freezes my heart, and I can't feel.
Everything is numb.
And everything is... beautiful.
This... pain...
is beautiful.
Chapter 21 ( "Blood is My Reason", How Protecting Others from Death Is Her Reason For Living)
Blood is an odd color, almost black but not quite, in it's least common form.
It comes from the oddest places, and sometimes those different places warrant different colors of the blood. Maybe black, or very light red if the cut is light. If you press too hard, or you cut yourself accidently, and it's deep, the blood comes together in a stream.
I've seen too much blood. It's all in my dreams. Everyone dies in my dreams.
Because I'm the center of it all, covered with it. With blood. But not because it was at my hand they died, but because I live, they died.
I would do anything to save them.
And that's why I'm here, I guess. That's my "why".
To save others from myself.
Chapter 23 ( Becoming Death/the Danger to Save Others From It)
They say it's best to stay quiet,
because if you do,
you may stay safe,
but I don't believe in quiet.
Then, how could I believe in being safe?
Safe is not having freedom.
So, I'll be free,
But instead of being in danger,
I'll be the danger.
Chapter 25 (The Missing Puzzle Pieces and How She Feels As If She'll Never Find Them)
When someone finds something,
a missing piece of their puzzle
comes into place.
But of course,
all my pieces are scattered away and around
and I can't ever help to find them.
Chapter 27 (By Logic, Nobody Cares)
What's it to you?
Why do you care?
You don't, though you act like you do.
Everyone acts.
So, by logic, you do as well.
Chapter 29 (Mini Poem)
Tick-tock, tick-tock, the time is coming soon...
tick-tock, tick-tock, by the light of the moon...
tick-tock, tick-tock, the time is coming soon...
tick-tock, tick-tock, leading to your doom.
Chapter 29pt2 (How the World is Full of Negativity)
The world is full of negativity.
Negativity is a big word, as it holds a lot of meaning.
Bad actions, bad words, bad people...
I am that very embodiment of negativity,
because all I see in my future
is destruction.
Which is your favorite? Personally I like them all!
BTW, no, I am not depressed. I write these at a different POV of life. It's one of my strong points as a storyteller: telling stories from different points of view, with different characters, and different emotions. My characters tend to be tragic, so I'm going to try and make some more positive characters! LOL.
