A/N: I got part of the idea from a hilarious social media post I found online. Just a little short comedy to help refresh my story-telling skills. I hope you guys find it funny as well. <3
A Guide to Being a Professional House Haunter
A Training Booklet
So. Congrats on being hired. That means you made it through the grueling training experience, which is mostly you just proving you're scary enough to be a professional house haunter. And what IS that, exactly? Listen, new guy, I've been doing this for years and it gets old real fast. You go hide in a house, render yourself invisible, wait out a few hours, and scare the living snot out of a few people, ideally new movers. There's no special tricks, you just say BOO, get your butt out of there, and collect your paycheck. Then it repeats itself.
Nothing really special. But for some reason you decided to become a professional at it. Not everyone is good at it, but it doesn't mean YOU are. Well, I guess it does. You got hired. Only 30 percent of ghosts that apply get accepted. Like some sort of preppy school or something.
Anyway, here's the deal. Your first assignment, like everyone else, is very simple. There's a few popular sites for us ghosts to scare people (aka "haunted" houses) right here in town. You just go on down and scare some tourists silly. They're already expecting a scare so it should be easy.
If it isn't, you probably got some non-religious folk there. They'll think it's a joke, so feel free to do everything in your power to torture them. You know, moan in their ears, sneak up on them, talk to them about their family (that gets them the most), etc. If you go to the office you'll find a list of these people that we keep on file, and if you manage to make them run out of the house crying, you'll get a raise. That's how we work.
Anyway, since it's your first day on the job, I'll tell ya something. Our purpose is to scare people and then get a kick out of it ourselves. But before long you're gonna be just like me, showing up just for the moeny and giving a weak little boo. I'm so ready for retirement.
LOL, very short. Who wants to work here, at Ghosts Inc?!
