Help, please.
So, I have 3 best friends. I call them KNG, Kairi, and Crystalstar. This is about KNG.
This year, she moved schools. I thought we’d stay in touch, but as the year went on, she started to get busy and not want to talk anymore. Yesterday was the last straw for her. Our relationship had always been a bit off, with me agreeing with everything she said. She always encouraged me to push out of my little box of shy loneliness, and I said I’d try. Then she started to call my friends names, and say that they were a pack of stupid toxic liars. Because they had bullied her slightly last year. But they are nice to me. Of course, being the person I was, I agreed. But yesterday, I decided things had gone far enough and I needed to stand up for what I believed in. I told her that my friends treat me great and maybe they were mean to her but they aren’t to me. I told her I didn’t wanna fight about it, just wanted to speak my mind. Then she dropped this bomb on me.
It was a really long Email, and I don’t want to post her direct words, but basically she dropped me like a hot potato and said that all I talk about is my friends and. how awesome they are. That she needed to cut herself off from me and all my “toxic ties”. That if I called, she wouldn’t pick up, and if I Emailed, she wouldn’t reply. She made me cry. On Christmas Day. My favorite day of the year. Now i feel sad and just kinda wilted/crushed on the inside, My problem was, she saw thing so one-sidedly. She saw the problems this relationship was causing her, not the deep depression it would cause me whe. she dropped it. She saw Kairi and how “toxic” she was to her, not the sister-like friendship I have with kairi. And she didn’t think twice about calling Kairi a toxic friend to my face, but she also sent things to Kairi saying “Don’t tell (my name), but blah blah blah. Kairi told me anyway. KNG obviously knew that last year, I was very quiet and easy to push around. And now she cut me off. She didn’t even give me a second chance. I feel like she treats me as just another character in her choose your own adventure story. The worst line in her Email, directly quoted: “I have tried to salvage some nice feelings for you, (my name), even after the explosion. Maybe if I hadn’t come to MSSA, we could still be friends.... bye, (my name), (my middle name), whatever your name is. I’m finally out.” And now I feel like a mistake. I feel like I could have changed something and none of this could have happened. I feel like crying or hiding away from the world. But I can’t, because I’m with relatives. I want to talk things out, like we used to when we would fight. But that’s impossinble, because I never see her in real life. Also, I’d try sending her a letter, but I forgot her address and she’d probably crumple it up and toss it anyway.
Please, anyone who is gonna give me advice, don’t tell me to drop the friendship. I can’t stand losing friends. It breaks me. I just need help with how to cope. I don’t know what to do.