+13 votes
366 views
in All Advisors by (153k points)
Heyo, Y'all!

WARNING: IT'S GONNA BE LONG!!!!

It's meh, Coffee Cake! Lately i've been having some problems, and I wanted to know if y'all could help in some way! Normally, I am a little socially awkward, but this is like, weird. And I think it might have something to do with KNG dumping me like she did (see post Sigh... What Do I Do?) Like, sometimes, at school, I try to talk to people who I don't normally talk to, and I find myself embarrased and shaky for no reason! And then they wonder what's wrong with me, and then I'm sure that my breath smells, or they think I'm stupid, or stuff, and it just goes in a downward cycle from there until it gets so awkward that I have to end the conversation! Yes, I'm known for being a little shy, but this is kinda wacko. Also, I keep gettign random like, nervous attacks if you wanna call it that, where I get nervous for NO REASON AT ALL!! And then, today, (finals day, coincidentially), in english, because we took our test on Friday, we presented our movie we made of a couple scenes from the Outsiders. The other group went before me, and their movie looked like it belonged in Hollywood, and then when I went to show my groups, the sound stopped working on the TV, and it made my whole group look BAD! We eventually fixed it, but our movie wasn't anything NEAR the quality of theirs, and I started to cry. This girl I'll call... Starfish (idk anymore) came up to me and gave me a hug, (she's always super nice) and it made me feel better, but also made me cry even more. After the movie, we were given twelve minutes to write a alternate ending for the Outsiders, and I thought mine was pretty good, but when i went up to present, I got really shaky and talked really fast, and everybody noticed. And then, in art, i just felt down in the dumps bc of the day's happenings, tried to have a conversation with Starfish, but once again it was way too awkward, as we aren't really great friends. Even at volleyball yesterday, I started feeling really sad, like I was doing everything wrong, and the practice just wasn't fun with me, even with my friend I'll call CakePop (she hates cakepops lol) laughing like a maniac the whole time. The last problem is, theres this girl (the fraternal twin of Starfish) that I'll call Turtle, and she is AMAZING at volleyball, and super pretty, just like Starfish, but for some reason, whenever I'm around her, I feel really self-concious and intimidated, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!! It mostly started after KNG ditched me, but I'm not sure that's the case, but if it is, I dont know how to fix it, because she cut all ties to me, and none of my friends are willing to Email her because they think she is annoying.



3 Answers

+3 votes
by (165k points)
 
Best answer
First off, I am pretty sure most of this is from the Imaginary Audience effect. Basically, it is where you think people are judging you on every little thing, even when they are not. As for any talking fast, force yourself to slow down even if it sounds semi-robot for a minute and try to adjust. For nervous attacks, breath, 4-7-8, while closing your eyes. It won't take long, just keep breathing and counting until you are more calm. If you ever have hyperventilating nervous attacks like I sometimes do, force yourself to breath slower, somehow. Try to become friends with Starfish, she seems really nice (I classify most hug-givers as nice people, like one of my friend's who's hugs are the best). And try not to focus on the drama with your friends too much, life is too short for that.
by (153k points)
+1
Thanks for the tips. You always get me, it’s like you can read my mind! Wait a minute...
by (165k points)
+1

I can't read minds, but I can read emotions ably. I can tell what people's emotions are, how they are feeling, and I advise from personal experience. I'm not psychic, just empathic.

by (153k points)
+1
:3 I never knew what empathic meant, lol, i like kinda knew but like not for sure. I can sorta tell what people are feeling, and I try my best to help them out, but it’s hard for me sometimes.
by (165k points)
+1
Empathy is you're shared feelings with others, though it's often confused with sympathy. Here-

Pity- Oh poor you!

Sympathy- Oh no, let me help!

Empathy- I know what you are feeling, let's figure out a way to stop this.
by (153k points)
+1
:3 Thanks again!
by (153k points)
I find it amusing that looking back on this, I now have

1- regular anxiety attacks and a therapist that is trying to help me with them

2- a crush on Starfish
by (165k points)
1. Good that you have a therapist

2. NoIcE
+3 votes
by (138k points)
I used to be super extroverted and popular in my old school but now in Beachville (Aka my new city) I am soooooooo shy and lonely (I blame it on the homeschooling) and I feel so weird around new people.

So what I'm trying to say is that I kinda (ehhhh) know how you feel. And what I am sayo g is that you should talk to Stargish and try to be friends with her (If that's what you want)
by (153k points)
+1
Yeah, I would, but the problem is that she's kinda on the more "popular" side at my school, if you'd even call it popularity. In other words, very outspoken, and basically the opposite of me. Also I GET SOOOO NERVOUS!
by (138k points)
+1
Hmm... Ok. When you feel like you want to do it you can. She sounds super nice and I don't think that she would mind!
by (153k points)
+1
Yeah, maybe I’ll try. Thanks, Kitty!
by (138k points)
+1
No prob!
+2 votes
by (153k points)
Also, whenever I think about calling KNG, I feel kind of dizzy and really scared/nervous, even though I know she doesn’t know my new number, and she’ll probably pick up, and we could fix what we messed up, I just can’t. I will literally have an anxiety attack if I try.



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