So, last night, I heard a loud thud.
I don’t know what it was, and it wasn’t anything bad cause no one was like screaming, and no one said anything about it.
But my heart and head was pounding really fast and I was scared, and then the flashbacks kind of just started coming? I haven’t experienced this in a WHILE, but here we go.
[For a little context- my father is in the military, he had his work uniform still on after this, and over half of his personality was that military attitude. The one most people don’t know- not the proud patriotic one, not the scared PTSD one, the harsh one. Im not trying to be stereotypical or anything like that. Most people in the military though know how to stick on the attitude and face of a drill instructor.]
Before I moved because my parents separated, they were getting into heated fights. One night, it got literally the worst it could. My siblings and I were all sleeping downstairs together that night (my siblings wanted a “sleepover”) and we had set up our beds. They were arguing after dinner and then it finally stopped (with my dad angrily leaving) and they went into different rooms. (This was upstairs.)
A really long while later, my sister fell asleep, and my brother and I were trying to.
My dad I guess had decided it was time to talk again and went back to their room and my mom had locked the door
Because
She
Was
Scared.
He pounded on it. Really hard.
And my mom ignored him I guess cause the door didn’t seem to open or unlock.
My dad started pounding harder and then he was screaming
“[moms name] OPEN THE #@$&# DOOR!!!”
OVER AND OVER AND OVER
POUNDING AND POUNDING AND POUNDING
He just kept screaming, and he has a loud voice, and pounding. I literally had never heard him get so psychotic.
My brother was crying and i was trying to be the big reliable older kid so I kind of just held him and winced as I heard
“OPEN THE $#$$@$$#& DOOR!”
HE KICKED THE DOOR SO HARD THAT DAY THEY HAD TO REPLACE IT
HE WAS WEARING HIS BOOTS
THE CRACK WENT FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DOOR TO THE DOORKNOB
THAT WAS THE THUD. IT WAS SO LOUD I SWEAR IT SHOOK THE FLOOR OF UPSTAIRS
IT FREAKING SCARED ME SO BAD I GOT UP AND FOUND MY PHONE FREAKING READY TO DIAL 911
I HAD IT READY
My mom opened the door at some point and let him in and all I heard after that was muffled yelling and crying and I was afraid my dad was hitting her but I think he was slamming the walls really hard
Pretty much every time after that, when I heard a thud, my heart started pounding, even if I knew it wasn’t my dad.
I haven’t experienced that since I moved, because my parents haven’t been in the same place, but it kind of just happened.
I feel like this is more of a vent than anything but I still get scared from this stuff that happened like 9 months ago.
My dad doesn’t do this kind of stuff anymore and he never did it to us, his kids, but knowing he’s capable of that…
My eyes kind of sting from typing this
I hope I didn’t waste your time with this longgg story, but um…
1. Can this be considered traumatic?..
2. Is there any way to stop the flashbacks from feeling so intense?