+7 votes
475 views
in Other by (165k points)

Mean Cameron Kowalski

A Short Story
by Luna Hope (pen name)

Cameron Kowalski was thinking about Charlotte Cox again. Charlotte was a violent brute with blonde elbows and skinny legs.

Cameron walked over to the window and reflected on his derelict surroundings. He had always loved deprived Moscow with its flipping, flabby fields. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel unstable.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a violent figure of Charlotte Cox.

Cameron gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a mean, stingy, squash drinker with wobbly elbows and ruddy legs. His friends saw him as a bright, breakable bear. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a screeching baby flamingo.

But not even a mean person who had once jumped into a river and saved a screeching baby flamingo, was prepared for what Charlotte had in store today.

The drizzle rained like chatting ostriches, making Cameron concerned. Cameron grabbed a silver map that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Cameron stepped outside and Charlotte came closer, he could see the raw glint in her eye.

"Look Cameron," growled Charlotte, with an energetic glare that reminded Cameron of violent puppies. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want affection. You owe me 7442 dollars."

Cameron looked back, even more concerned and still fingering the silver map. "Charlotte, I shrunk the kids," he replied.

They looked at each other with healthy feelings, like two melodic, mouldy monkeys dancing at a very bold snow storm, which had trance music playing in the background and two tight-fisted uncles skipping to the beat.

Cameron studied Charlotte's blonde elbows and skinny legs. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Cameron. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected Charlotte. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Cameron. "Now get your blonde elbows out of here before I hit you with this silver map."

Charlotte looked active, her wallet raw like a grubby, gentle gun.

Cameron could actually hear Charlotte's wallet shatter into 7442 pieces. Then the violent brute hurried away into the distance.

Not even a beaker of squash would calm Cameron's nerves tonight.

THE END
 

Auto Praise for Mean Cameron Kowalski

"I feel like I know Cameron Kowalski. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the drizzle rained like chatting ostriches is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop



4 Answers

0 votes
by (95.3k points)
this is a masterpiece.

 

did you use plot-generator.org.uk ? the auto praise & writing style looks familiar. lol
+1 vote
by (40.2k points)
LOOK CHARLOTTE" I SHRUNK THE KIDS"
0 votes
by (82.8k points)
Wait why do I like this so much-
0 votes
by (350k points)
I love these generators lol



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