+9 votes
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in Ask LLM by
Bonjour, LLM! I have a complicated problem. In my friend group, there's this girl named Ava. I used love Ava, until now. You see, my friends and I are doing a small secret Santa thing. Ava and another girl, Rachelle, have known each other for a long time. In the friend group, I usually talk a little bit, but not too much. I share things about my life, but not emotional things. I usually share that stuff alone with my best friend who's also in the friend group, Annie. So anyway, when I was talking about a few ground rules for our secret Santa, Rachelle and Ava were doing something totally different and not paying attention to me at all. After a third time of telling them to pay attention, Rachelle listened, but Ava kept trying to talk to her. Then, I totally lost it and just said, "Ava, if I ever anything like this again, I'm not going to include you because you won't even pay attention to me talk."
We started arguing, and Annie and Hayden (another girl in my friend group) totally lost it. They'd been in drama before, and they hate it. They begged us to apologize. I did, but Ava didn't. She claimed, "I didn't do anything!"
When Hayden was trying to get her to apologize, the teacher's called us in from recess.
I always listen to Ava, who's always in the center of attention. When I try to talk once, she doesn't even listen. Am I right or wrong?
-Confused



4 Answers

+2 votes
by (6.6k points)
Choose to be with people who aren’t toxic
+2 votes
by (138k points)
Hi Confused! I'm not LLM but I have advice for you. I used to be in the same position that you are. What I did was to (I know this sounds mean, but they were driving me crazy) ignore them. Give them a taste of their own medicine. Or, go up to Ava and tell her how you feel. She might apologize or not. If she doesn't, just stop hanging out with her. I hope this helps!
+3 votes
by (350k points)
I'm not LLM, but here's my take.

My brother does the same thing. It may be because Ava feels herself higher than you? Perhaps try and voice your concerns to her in a way that she actually listens. And if she doesn't listen, tell her you cant have a one-sided friendship and get out of the mess.
+2 votes
by (375k points)
Dear Confused,

I don't know how to answer the question at the end because it has so many answers and it is hard to tell right or wrong in this case.

I will say that Ava definitely made a bad choice. But did you? That is the hard part. But, you apologized she didn't. You did the right thing there. Maybe try to say something to her when you are alone. I understand how hard these things can be. Try to forgive her but don't forget. Give her a second chance. If she blows it don't forget the first. And be careful around her.

Hope this helped and best of luck. You can always come back with an update or a different question.

Sincerely,

LLM



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