Currently feeling… uhhhh… I don’t actually know. Possibly aromantic, possibly omnisexual? I made a post about it but I don’t think Kidztalk approved it for some reason so HERE WE ARE.
My swim lessons are going okay, the only problem is I’m not sticking with the same instructor so I keep having to bounce from one to the other with different kids at different levels of ability to swim. Yesterday I had to wear a stupid floaty thing even though the last three instructors said I could take it off BUT I think the instructor was in training sooooo. It made it harder to swim though.
Therapy is also going okay. I’m becoming more comfortable with her. She’s probably in her 70’s and I think thats what made me uncomfortable. I’m getting there.
My dad is coming to visit in a week-ish. I may not be able to get on kidztalk because of it.
I’m afraid that since he’ll be here he and my mother will fight, but we’ll have to see how that goes. I was deleting stuff in my recently deleted photos recently (I take screenshots with my ipad by swiping in some spot on accident normally while I’m TYPING ON HERE) and I didn’t mean to but I saw a text convo between my parents. And since I know how to READ, I can’t UNREAD. Also I am a little nosy sometimes especially coming to knowledge I wish I knew. I realized through the conversation how manipulative my dad really can be. I’ve heard it from my mom, but… wow.
He was basically verbally abusing my mom basically to the point where even I feared he was gonna start physically abusing. I think that’s why we left.
Now he can’t really do that. But he kept making it sound like her fault in the text. “I want the person I married back.” “YOU took my kids away.” And it wasn’t all bad, but for the most part? It was bad.
I miss when my parents weren’t fighting, although apparently they’ve always had fights for a long time- but my mom stopped giving in, and her fighting back was what made it bad. So instead I was just clueless.
I am going nuts right now in my grandparents house. Fortunately (and unfortunately), school starts very soon, I think 7 days. MY SIBLINGS BUS STOP IS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, WHEREAS MINE IS TWO BLOCKS AWAY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.
So anyways, yes, school. Today I have to go to the doctor. NO SHOTS or anything, just a checkup. I hate having to be touched though. I’m old enough to only let them if I want to, and I said I didn’t want them to touch me. But they might have to check for breast cancer and I can’t say no or something. MY DOCTOR IS MALE. I WOULD PREFER A FEMALE AT THE LEAST, THANK YOU. Also my nana is taking me and they’re gonna be like “SOOOOO, GIVE ME AN UPDATE OF WHAT PUBERTY HAS DONE TO YOUR BODY!!” I think my nana blabs. Help. HEEEEELP I ALREADY FEEL AWKWARD AND EMBARRASSED AAAAAAA
Thats a lot of screaming.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
So. How is your week?
