You know what? I’m losing my mind. I honestly don’t know how long I’m gonna last before I lose it. In fact, I probably already lost my mind.
Key: (I’m just gonna use an unoriginal idea and use the first letter of their names. Very unoriginal but I’m too lazy to think of better names)
Crush = J
Best friend = L
Great friend = Ma
Other person at table = H
Robotics partner = Mc
Let’s start with the something. How about… September 22? Okay, September 22 was a perfectly normal day. It was a Friday, so we get to do lab in science class. On top of that, I got to watch a movie in ELA and social studies class because I was done with my work.
The movie was Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. Pretty good movie. Then, we head to math class. We were about to change seats, right after lunch. Hopefully I could score a seat next to J, who sat across from me.
Guess what happened instead? Turns out the teacher received a phone call and J left early. And we had no lab. (But that was a relief because my only lab partner until now has been J)
Of course, liked promised, we changed seats after lunch. The teacher pulled names to determine who would go. When my name was pulled, I sat at the last empty table. Another name was pulled. She sat at the same table I was sitting at, but at one of the ends.
Then, L’s name was pulled. She obviously sat next to me.
Boom. No more J at my table.
September 25 came. No J here. I was getting a bit worried that we would have a lab.
September 26 came. No J again. I was getting more worried that we would have a lab, and that he wouldn’t come back. (Even though J was gone for 40 days (not in a row) last year)
September 27 came. Still no J. I was definitely worried about both the lab and the fact that he might not come back. But, something else worried me more. More than anything I’ve ever worried about.
I was at my table in science/math/robotics class. Pretty normal, right? Yes.
For the millionth time, me and L mentioned how J was dead (we were obviously joking) and that he had a million assignments to complete and that he wouldn’t come back. But then, H whispered something to L.
I only caught J’s name. And it was pretty short, too. So my panic instincts kicked in and I was convinced that H (who knows a lot of people’s crushes) somehow figured out that I liked J and told L that I liked J. L nodded in agreement, so that probably meant that L was suspecting that I liked J.
I actually don’t know if that happened because like I said, I was panicking in my head. But it probably did happen.
I prepared for impending doom. Well, I actually just panicked about the fact that there was the chance that everybody might know who I like and that J would be here.
Boom. September 28 came. Nobody said a word about me liking J to me. Plus, J still wasn’t here. And there was no lab. But at least there was an empty seat at my table. J could sit there.
And that’s when I started losing my mind.
LOOK AT IT! J WASN’T HERE FOR FOUR FLIPPIN’ DAYS! I’M LOSING MY MIND!
Then, today came. And J was here.
YES LET’S GO J IS ACTUALLY HERE!!
We’re just gonna ignore SS and ELA here and go straight to science/math/robotics.
When J came in, the teacher told him to choose an empty seat.
But the empty seat at my table was moved. Again.
That meant he was forced to break one of the rules the teacher outlined: that you couldn’t sit next to someone you sat to last time. And of course, I noticed that. But that was the last empty seat so I didn’t point it out.
Goodbye, lab partner. You were good, but now we sit pretty much across the room so there’s no way we could be lab partners. Oh wait, today was Friday. That meant a lab. Oh dang-
It was math, and not science, and we don’t have math partners, so I was safe. For now.
Today was another math test. I once again got 1 problem wrong. In my math class, if you get anything below a 100, that means you have to retake the test. But that’s not a worry, even though I don’t understand what I got wrong. (I checked my work and I didn’t see any mistakes)
Fast forward to science. For most of the science period, we talked about how Patient 23 was well in Week 1, not well in Week 3 (C. jejuni), was well again in Week 5 after taking antibiotics, and wasn’t well in Week 7 (C. difficile).
But then, when class was almost over, the teacher told us about a science project. We have to build a model of a cell. So instead of lab, we had this. Ay, I could still partner up with J.
But I didn’t. J partnered up with L. Again. (They are robotics partners and we have robotics partners for the whole year. It doesn’t concern me too much) It was pretty clear he wanted one of us as partners.
So instead, I partnered up with my robotics partner, Mc, who happened to not have a partner for the cell model either. We work pretty good together. Ay, Mc is a great friend.
That’s when I nearly lost my mind. Look at it: I love J, J (probably) hates me. Okay, he probably likes me back, and this vent is yet another example of stereotypical jealousy. (Also my iPad suggested neodiversence and not jealousy for some weird reason)
And I’m positive J likes me, even though he likes to partner up with L. And me.
Last year, I was tracking who J might like from February until the end of the year. Sometimes I added other girls to the mental list, sometimes I removed some. And sometimes, I put down nobody (in my brain duh). But I was always an option.
And it paid off. At the end of the year, I realized that J liked one girl. Me.
There’s also a school dance coming up on October 20. Me, L, Ma, and Mc are all going. Mc asked her crush out to the dance (not sure what he said), and the other three of us are going for the food and to watch people make a fool of themselves.
I know I like someone (J, duh). L and Ma both know that I like someone, and I’m pretty sure L knows. But I’m not worried about that now. I know Ma doesn’t know who I like. I don’t know if Mc knows I like someone.
L doesn’t like someone, so I don’t have to worry about her and J dating. Because why?
Ma likes someone, and both me and L know that. Thing though is, she doesn’t even know the name of her crush.
Mc clearly likes someone (I know who), because she asked him out.
Who knows what could happen on Monday? I might get a boyfriend. (But that would never happen) I might finally lose my mind and go insane. The entire world might turn against me. Or absolutely nothing could happen and I just keep watching Beluga like nobody existed.
Don’t be surprised if I change suddenly. It’s because I lost my mind.
