+8 votes
245 views
in Fiction by

RavenClawChick thought I should try out to be an author here on KidzTalk, but be warned: I'm not a good author... However, this story is about a boy in Downhill Middle School whose life is going... Well...downhill. The boy is named Jake Waterrun, and bad luck meets him at every corner. Here is a sneak peak:

Chapter One: The Bad Luck Begins

"Uhhhhhh," Jake yawned widely. 

It was still nighttime, he knew, because a slither of black peeked from the curtains. When he tried to move, his hand flew and knocked the lamp over. Jake decided to settle back down, but his bedpost creaked-- and spilt halfway open. That was when the bad luck started.

However, when Jake went back to sleep, he dreamt about a horse whom stepped in a mud puddle. Nothing bad luck about that, right? WRONG! The horse got stuck and died.* The end for the horse... Jake woke up sweating. He never remembered his dreams, let alone one about animals!! So, shivering and shaking, observing his broken lamp and bedpost, he thought about the next day.

Nothing else could happen, right...?

[End of sneak peak; did you like it? cheeky]

*RavenClawChick said that was kind of inappropriate... But, really, what does she know? (Raven please don't comment madly angel)




3 Answers

+1 vote
by (134k points)
A little bit predictable but good for a first!
+1 vote
by (350k points)
Huffle, its pretty good for a first shot!
+1 vote
by
I don't think it's innapropriate. I mean the dying part, a little but everything else is great!



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