+8 votes
162 views
in English by (110k points)

As you guys know, I’m trying to get my  grade up ince I got a 70 in math. This is an essay I had to do for school and I handed it in yesterday. What grade do you predict I’ll get?

Assignment

Reading without walls

By Pizzalover44(I replaced my real name with my user.)

The Main character of Front Desk, Mia, is an immigrant from China, and in exchange for free rent Mia’s family agrees to work at a motel, The Calivista. I recently finished the realistic fiction novel Front desk. Mia runs the front desk of the motel. But Mr Yao, the owner, has so many rules for what they can and can’t do. For starters, they can’t use the pool. And They can’t leave the motel unattended so whenever she goes out one of her parents has to stay behind! He also pays them very unfair wages. Around  750$ a month! That’s outrageous. All of these rules lead Mia to dream about owning her own motel.

Mia and I may have very different lives, but we have some things  in common too. Our lives are different in many ways. Such as, I don’t have to work a front desk and worry everyday about making a mistake and getting fired. Also, even though I live in a small place, I have a stable financial situation and insurance. Mia however, DOES, have to worry about all these things, plus she is not as good at speaking English as her classmates. She is also an immigrant and although my grandparents are. I am not an Immigrant and my mom isn't either.Despite all our differences,  Mia and I have a ton of things in common too! We are both writers(although I prefer typing and mia mostly handwrites) we both envision huge futures for ourselves, with the knowledge that it might not work out the way we want it too. But the disappointment isn't any easier when it comes

Mia learned an important lesson that I can apply to my own life. In the beginning, Mia and her family decided to house immigrants for free in the Calivista. Even though they know full well Mr. Yao would fire them on the spot if he knew. Later in the book, Mr. Yao has some news, and not the good kind. He is selling the motel! They try to solve  their problem by asking their family for money to buy the Calivista. But sadly, the verdict from them is no.Mia has the idea to ask a bunch of people to give them money to buy the motel(they would also become investors). And a lot of these people are immigrants who stayed in the Calivista formerly.  Since Mia and her family helped the immigrants, the immigrants helped them. The lesson that they learn is that kindness always comes back to you. In my life, It may not be in the way that Mia’s family kindness   came back to them. But Kindness  \will always come  in some form or another.

So what grade do you think I’ll get?




1 Answer

0 votes
by (895k points)
Probably a 70-75 mostly because of the grammar.

If you don’t count the grammar it’d be a 90.

That’s my own grading.
by (110k points)
That’s a little harsh….

Is it really that bad?
by (895k points)
Well, I am kind of a grammar Nazi…

But at least you put effort in it.
by (110k points)
Besides the grammar

Also the grammar isn’t that bad Elo

Is it really horrible?

What are other problems with it besides grammar

Is it really a horrible essay?
by (486k points)
Woah

Grammar Nazi...

Never heard that one before x3
by (110k points)
Nobi what do you think of my essay?
by (486k points)
Okay, so first, you should get rid of most of the contractions if you're doing a formal essay. I also suggest getting a little more flavoring with your words, trying to avoid repeating some words. Now, when I saw avoid, I mean do your best to, because sometimes you can't think of words.

Also, I agree with Elo. Grammar is key, especially when writing or typing an essay that you want a good rating on.

You are on the right track, you just need a few tweaks :D
by (895k points)

I am rather blunt…

by (110k points)
Okay bringing this back to life I actually got a 98 on this so….



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