+7 votes
375 views
in Religion / Philosophy by (350k points)
Don't be offended! This is for Christians' eyes only! Enjoy! :) (BTW, it took me forever the write this.)

1. Be thankful you're still above the ground.

2. Thou shall not park here. Clergy only.

3. Church parking. Only violaters will be baptized.

4. Now is a good time to visit. Our pastor is on vacation.

5. I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitoes.

6. I hate this church. -Satan

7. Easter comes once a year. How often do you?

8. There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.

9. I'm also making a list and checking it twice. -God

10. Jesus. Your get out of hell free card.

11. Free coffee. Everlasting life. Yes, membership has its benefits.

12. Read the Bible. It will scare the hell outta you. (Get it?)

13. Don't make Me come down there. -God

14. Son screen prevents sin burn.

15. Keep using My name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. -God

16. Be an organ doner. Give your heart to Jesus.

17. If you would shut up, you could hear God's voice.

18.Find Jesus inside, find Pokémon outside.

19. What is missing from ch  ch? U r.

How you enjoyed! No offense is intended by any of these.



5 Answers

0 votes
by (114k points)
OMG I LOVE THIS THIS IS AMAZING AND SO TRUE.

I've been a Christian since I was 5. I'm 15 rn
0 votes
by (70.2k points)
Haha I’m catholic but in the Bible there’s a time where Jesus is with his mother at a wedding and they have insufficient wine so Jesus Mom tells him and he says “Women it is not my time.” I laugh a loud whenever I think about it
0 votes
by (217k points)

I'm not christian but these are so hilarious laughing-tears

by (527k points)
Same, these are honestly funny x3
0 votes
by
Lol the one that the Bible will scare the hell out of you got me
0 votes
by (8.3k points)
Ha! Those were brilliant!



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