Don't be offended! This is for Christians' eyes only! Enjoy! :) (BTW, it took me forever the write this.)
1. Be thankful you're still above the ground.
2. Thou shall not park here. Clergy only.
3. Church parking. Only violaters will be baptized.
4. Now is a good time to visit. Our pastor is on vacation.
5. I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitoes.
6. I hate this church. -Satan
7. Easter comes once a year. How often do you?
8. There are some questions that can't be answered by Google.
9. I'm also making a list and checking it twice. -God
10. Jesus. Your get out of hell free card.
11. Free coffee. Everlasting life. Yes, membership has its benefits.
12. Read the Bible. It will scare the hell outta you. (Get it?)
13. Don't make Me come down there. -God
14. Son screen prevents sin burn.
15. Keep using My name in vain, and I'll make rush hour longer. -God
16. Be an organ doner. Give your heart to Jesus.
17. If you would shut up, you could hear God's voice.
18.Find Jesus inside, find Pokémon outside.
19. What is missing from ch ch? U r.
How you enjoyed! No offense is intended by any of these.