I have had this friend since i was in year 7 and let’s call them Z. We were really good friends but when i was in hospital with leukaemia (cancer) ,in year 8 im in year 9 now, they didn’t really text me that often and i think at one point i cried but i forgot about it and so my dad doesn’t trust them and has told me to stay away from them but we are fine now and i don’t really care about what happened, me and Z even sometimes laugh about it. But the problem is i’m a very sensitive person so i find it really hard to tell my dad how i feel and the last time i tried to talk to someone about something i got yelled at for 2 hours by my dad with the same questions repeatedly “are you a stupid person?!”, “what do you mean?!” or “You can’t have just forgotten what you said!”.
Then he doesn’t even give me a chance to answer or most of the time i’m so overwhelmed that i have no idea what to say and i do forget easily.
It’s really hard to avoid my friend because they are in nearly all my lessons at school and i fell out with one of my other friends and i can only sit with Z right now in the lunch club room because i find it hard to socialise outside because of being isolated in hospital for so long. It has gotten to the point where i’ve been secretly hanging out at school which is a stupid idea cause my dad already found out we were hanging out outside of school. everyday i get even more paranoid that my dads going to find out and i know i shouldn’t go behind his back but Z is my friend and they have no other friends to hang out with and i’d be even more heartbroken if i couldn’t be friends with them anymore.
I really don’t want my dad to shout at me again because he said he’d never be able to trust me again if i lied to him, he even asks who i’m calling now even when i’m not even calling Z he still thinks i’m lying . I’m scared of my dad at this point , what do i do? if i ask to talk to someone about my feelings i’ll get interrogated on what i need to talk about then my dad will say “have i not been a good dad, have i not said you can tell me anything because i won’t judge you” but he’ll just start yelling on why i won’t tell him then say he has never shouted while he is angry at me.
Does anyone have advice for this?
