**Heres my first story! Tell me if you liked it, found it relatable or think there should be a change! Also I’m gonna warn you it’s longer than you thought it would be lol. I didn’t like this story but also I don’t actually get the characters feelings, as I am cisgender. If you actually get this please tell me what I should change!! I wanted to scrap the whole thing but you know, bye bye a bunch of writing that took a whole hour. ANYWAYS enjoy**
As a genderfluid kid in a private school, it’s safe to say that
people
don’t
get me.
I’ve always been the outcast at my schools and been bullied. When my parents thought private school may be better and believed I’d get a better education, they sent me there. I started sixth grade at a private school.
In seventh grade, I not only came out to my family but to the outside world. As soon as I explained to my family, they basically supported me no matter what. Everyone else?… Not very much.
Normally it’s a struggle for me with the school uniform, because I have to wear the girls uniform and not the boys. I didn’t want to stand out at all… or get in trouble with the headmaster. The only difference was a skirt, but that didn’t matter to me. I don’t want some uniform claiming what my gender is. Today, though, I was feeling happier than usual, so I didn’t even care.
It was the first day of pride month, and I was extremely excited. I felt confident enough to deck out a pride outfit. My rainbow socks were on, my heart earring was on, my rainbow bracelets clung to my arm. The dress code wasn’t too strict, as long as I had the average uniform on they basically didn’t care. I put on my rainbow jacket (unzipped) and shagged up my short curly hair, and then replaced my tie with my brand new rainbow tie. I was going all out. I wish I had thought about it first, though, before I rushed downstairs and outside.
I was 5 minutes late and when I arrived at school and the halls were completely empty. When I opened the door to my classroom, I realized the mistake I made.
Everyone was staring at me. Some kids started to whisper. My TEACHER had a disgusted look on her face for 2 seconds before she whipped back into monotone mode. Thank goodness, though, that my lesbian bestie had an 2 rainbow bracelets on and a rainbow hat on her desk. Looking at it, I wished I had just went small, but stupid old me had to separate myself from the rest of the class again. As I sat in my seat in the front row, I could feel all the other kids eyes on me. I hid in my hoodie, my cheeks pink.
When class was over, I went to hide in the bathroom. Before I went in, I looked at the label.
“GIRLS BATHROOM”
I sighed. I was always just going to be a weird “girl” to everyone. When I was inside, the two bombshell blonde eighth graders putting makeup on at the mirrors looked at me. “Are you supposed to be in the guys bathroom, or here?” One asked. It wasn’t in a mocking way, like I was used to.
I thought for a moment. “Yes and no to both of them,” I answered awkwardly. I braced myself for what might come next.
The other one shrugged. “Cool.” She went back to putting on her makeup.
My jaw dropped as I closed the stall door. They hadn’t said ANYTHING. They just thought it seemed NORMAL.
And as I thought about it… I was normal.
I always thought that being “the outcasted kid” meant you really didn’t have a group. You may have a friend, but not a group. Especially being a genderfluid kid in a school full of less-supportive people, that was weird. I didn’t fit in. But there I was, feeling really normal just by some people barely acknowledging me.
I took off my hoodie and a couple of my bracelets and put them in my backpack. I wasn’t intense anymore, but I also wasn’t subtle. I left the stall smiling.
The day I felt the most like an outcast was also the day I felt the most normal. That day I learned that everyone has their own normal. And mine? Being outcasted, but finding some amazing things after being left in the dark.
I wasn’t accepted much the rest of the day, but as it went on less and less people stared at me. So not only was I normal, but to everyone else I must have been becoming normal. And that was good enough for me.
