+12 votes
132 views
in Fiction by (734k points)

THIS IS ANCIENT! 

It all starts with a really happy couple. That couple’s name is Jennifer Wakefield and Oscar Ruyard. They lived in a small town near Duluth, Minnesota. The neighborhood only had their house, a near-empty walmart and a Academy Sports and Outdoors store that was as full as the entire country of Indonesia. 

That is when one day, Jennifer had to go to burlington in North Carolina for a job interview. Meanwhile Oscar wanted to go camping. The 2 decided to go to academy sports and outdoors to buy tents.

“Hello sir, I want some tents.” Jennifer asked the guy who works at Academy sports and outdoors. 

“My name is Mr Alfred.” he replied. He had the most handsome face in the world, but Jennifer did not like handsome guys.

That is when Oscar spent his time looking at the protein bar section. He bought 100$ worth of Quest Chocolate protein bars. 

“Silly Oscar, we were looking for tents, not protein bars.” said Jennifer. 

According to Oscar’s mom, Oscar’s family can turn into blobfish if they dont eat protein bars. So Oscar turned into a blobfish. 

Jennifer gave him a protein bar. He became human again.

“This happened to your great-great-great-great grandmother.” She said, Laughing.

“You’re suspicious.” said Alfred.

After all that drama, Alfred showed Oscar and Jennifer the tents. 

“I dont know which tent to use.” said Oscar. He looked at all the tents.

Jennifer grunted as she got a box from the tent section. “MegaTent, contains 3 batman comics, air conditioner, 4 boxes of protein bars and a passport to go to Yemen!.” she read of the small label.

“That’s it, I’m buying megatent.”  said Oscar. They went to the cashier.

“Mr alfred, we are gonna buy Megatent.” said Jennifer.

“You can’t buy Megatent, Your bank account is 2$!” said Alfred, looking at the Megatent price tag,

“How much does it cost?” asked Oscar.

1 trillion dollars.

“1 TRILLION DOLLARS?” screamed Oscar. “I can buy that many protein bars.”

Then Oscar died.

Jennifer started crying. “Nooooooooo. My last boyfriend.” she couldn’t stop crying.

Then Mr Alfred started being mad. “Bad news Jennifer…. Your new job is making advertisements for 23andMe.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE 23ANDME THEY SCAMMED MY 2-YEAR OLD NEPHEW TIMMY.”

She screamed.

That is when she got to sent to the 23andme headquarters instead of jail. And Oscar was re-born. So he dumped Jenifer. The END.



 




6 Answers

+1 vote
by (902k points)
 
Best answer
THIS IS THE BEST STORY EVER IM AT SCHOOL
by (734k points)
HOW
by (902k points)
+1
IT’S RANDOM, THAT’S HOW!
by (734k points)
RANDOM IS LIFE
+1 vote
by (167k points)
Ah, yes.

23andme scams 2 year old nephews
by (734k points)
+1
that is true

Why are 2 year olds in 23andme anyways
by (167k points)
+1
I dunno
+1 vote
by (66.7k points)
wow um ok

that was physically painful
by (734k points)
+1
fax
+1 vote
by (269k points)

i did not see that ending coming- laughing-tears

+1 vote
by
Intestring
by (734k points)
ikr
by (66.7k points)
+1
read this as intestine
by (734k points)
IM WHEEZING
+1 vote
by (734k points)
boost



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