You know Post Malone.
Local hobo and crazy guy, sponsor of Bud Light.
But you don’t know his journey.
Before he became Post Malone, he was the most famous actor on earth.
He had a great life- a huge Mansion, beautiful wife and kids, and a ton of money.
Here’s the journey.
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Pre Insane Malone was born on July 4th, 1995.
Pre Malone was a smart kid in school, always getting A’s.
When he was in 8th grade, he got in detention for acting like a boxer on top of a desk.
Before sending him to the principal’s office, his teacher complimented him on his acting genuinely.
It inspired Pre, and he joined the school play.
His performance was recorded by his brother, who posted it on a site called youtube.
It instantly gained traction, and Pre became a viral sensation.
Pre Malone went to high school, still getting good grades.
He graduated early in 10th grade, and he had a great yearbook quote to represent his future success.
A 10th grade Pre Malone with his dog
“I’ll remember all of you when I’m famous.”
It was also at this time where he met his future wife, Beatrice Wiles.
Pre went to Hollywood, where he got a role in the upcoming movie called “My Life in Los Angeles”, where he played the side character Rodney.
The movie was panned, but Pre was praised for his performance.
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After this, Pre Malone simply changed his first name became “Malone”.
It sounded weird, Malone Insane Malone, but he wanted that.
Throughout the next 9 years, he starred in multiple movies, most notably in the series “Grove Street” as Eddie Pulaski and in the movie “Bullworth” as Johnny Vincent.
Other movies included “Manhunt”, “Fort Night”, “Mine Shaft”, “Row Shocks”, “OverWatch”, “The Apex”, and finally, “War Zone”.
When he was 21, he got engaged to his girlfriend of 5 years, and when he was 23, he got married to her.
At 24, he had 3 children. Two twin girls, Current Malone and Now Malone, aged 2, and one boy, First Malone, aged 4.
His success led to him being on the tonight show with Jimmy Fallon in 2019, where he said this quote.
A 22-year old Malone at the Oscars
“I love my wife, children, and my fans. I wish them all well in their life journey. I would not be here if it wasn’t for everyone supporting me and bringing me up instead of bringing me down.”
After his last roles, he announced an album, and he would now move on to the next chapter in his life.
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He was now Post Malone.
In the covid 19 pandemic, it was hard to get people his music.
He couldn’t do concerts.
Even if he could, people hated his music.
To try to cater to his audience better, he started singing about drugs and alcohol, and he also got a lot of tattoos and piercings.
People hated him more.
On top of this, he cheated on his wife at this time, who filed for divorce the second she found out. It was finalized 6 months later.
Also in this time, he took drugs heavily.
The effects were clear, and even in 2022, with concerts able to be performed, his music was still bad.
He opened a gaming twitch channel, which got a little bit of traction.
To top this, he slapped a fan requesting an autograph, and he was arrested, but was bonded out.
In 2023, he hit rock bottom.
On a twitch stream, he said this quote.
Post Malone insanely smiling after slapping a fan requesting an autograph
“I’m DONE WITH LIFE! IT’S GIVEN ME SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH! I LOST EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! PEOPLE HATE ME! I WAS THE MOST POPULAR MAN ALIVE, BUT MY LIFE WENT DOWNHILL! THERE IS NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY WITHOUT ME THINKING ABOUT WHAT I COULDVE DONE!”
In 2024, Post Malone has not been heard from in 2 months.
The last thing he tweeted was “I Malone”, referring to his loneliness.
He is alive, but he is insane.
Post Malone is a shell of his former self.
And he shows no signs of improvement.
The end.
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