You all know me and who I am, and many of my closer friends here will probably guess who I am, but I don't want to post this on my account. Some things, just no.
So I am scared at home when my dad is there and not at work. And i hate the cigarette smoke. When he comes home he always comes home in a bad mood, complaining about everything to me and my mom, not caring about anyone else's problems. And then he lists about 5 chores for me to do per minute and I am trying to get them done without him yelling more. When he gets really mad at me he hurts me somehow. He has grabbed the back of my throat, slapped me hard enough for my glasses to bend, shoved me into a wall, ect. If I ever argue or have any opposing opinion at all he will yell and say my opinion does not matter and no one wants to hear it. One day right before heading out to go to school he was yelling and threw my hairbrush at the wall so hard I thought it broke. I left for school crying and running out of the house. Whenever there are rare situations where my mom leaves me with my dad and he does anything to me and yells more if I text my mom about it. I want to run a hide in my room and lock myself in when he is home. My mom and brother don't see it enough to know. My brother loves my dad because he never got to see him when he was younger because of his childhood, but I would honestly trade. Every time I cry, I am called a cry-baby. Every time I am mad I am a disrespectful child. Every time I am happy it doesn't last long. I just want to run away, maybe stay with my best friend. I would have... i would have run away one day when both my parents made me cry and my brother seemed to ignore it, but then when i was in my room my brother hugged me, and i cried then too, but it helped. What do i do? And talking to a therapist or school couslor is out of the question, i know what would happen if i told a counslor because they are mandatory reporters, any time somebody is being hurt, wants to hurt themselves, or hurt others they have to tell somebody that by law. I would get in trouble. I just want it to stop. I can't talk to him, I can't defend myself, I want to run, but I have no where to go but school.