+4 votes
237 views
in English by (3.8k points)

Hello! I started writing a short story that I would like to make a series. I am putting the prolouge to the story down below, so please enjoy!

Sofia

The Prolouge

The sound of firing bounced around the side of the alley at the side of the house. The sky was gray, rain coming down like the bullets that were being shot around the city. The Belovs raced out of the other side of the house, and darted down the cobblestone road. They had merely themselves and a blanket to get themselves out of the border of the city that was 17 miles away. A soldier in the alley looked up and saw them running. He chased after them, the rain coming down harder down, drenching the soldier’s suit. The Belovs made a sharp turn right, and tumbled over a fence, into the bleak country. The soldier ran the opposite direction, and the Belovs continued through the tall grass that was the tall grass that they would be walking in for days. They huddled together and started their journey to the edge of the city.

 

It was two days later when they saw the next soldier. He was pacing around a carriage full of hay. The family hid behind a cobblestone wall. The girl sighed of relief, and the soldier perked up. The girl gasped, and the soldier came over to the wall. He peered down at the family, and took the parents by the neck of their coats. The girl crawled away, and hid in a tall, overgrown bush. She trembled with fear as the soldier scanned the area for her. She looked back at the carriage as it pulled away.

 

The girl made it out of the city 7 days later, hiding in forests and bins. She hadn’t been to the town that she found when she reached the edge of the city. An old woman with skin like biscuit dough found her shivering on the side of a road, and hid her in her house. After many weeks there, the old woman was killed, and the girl traveled the country, looking for family. The girl’s name was Sofia, and it would be a long time until she found them.

 



2 Answers

0 votes
by
I think that this is really good!
0 votes
by
I love the details!! You have a good writing style, and it's easy to understand. My only complaint, if not intentionally, declaring who "we" is, and putting a little more context on that. I can't wait for the next chap :)



Related questions

+11 votes
5 answers 352 views
+6 votes
2 answers 325 views
+9 votes
3 answers 523 views
+6 votes
2 answers 232 views
+9 votes
2 answers 407 views
asked Sep 22, 2018 in Fiction by knight
+11 votes
1 answer 208 views
asked Nov 11, 2019 in Fiction by im kanye (415k points)
+9 votes
4 answers 2.8k views
+5 votes
4 answers 304 views
+2 votes
6 answers 219 views

Recent Badges

Popular Question
Asked question received 100 views
- CarlyTheSwede -
Nice Answer
Answer received +2 upvote
- gamekid -
Popular Question
Asked question received 100 views
- K!tty_luv78 -
Popular Question
Asked question received 100 views
- Braceletgirl123 -
Popular Question
Asked question received 100 views
- ❤ Rose ❤ -
...