I’ve felt that I was different since I was only 11 years old*. Before then, I couldn’t imagine being with a girl. Now, it’s all I ever think about.
I’ve never had a boy crush before. When I was 9-10 years old I made up my own crushes to fit in with the other girls. Weird, I know. But at the time it seemed so cool to have a crush. Right now, it feels so weird to have a crush on a boy. I know a lot of girls who fall in love with boys (of course). As a homosexual tween, it feels unnatural for me to be with a boy, just as it feels unnatural for some straight people to be with the same gender.
I’m growing up as a human, which means that I fall in love, cry, eat, and make mistakes. I try not to distract myself with crushes, except I can’t control who I like. I have had a crush on a genderfluid person really recently. Let’s call this person A.K. She/he has two nicknames, a boy nickname and a girl nickname. He was born as a girl but she is still deciding her sexuality and gender. For now, A.K identifies as a bisexual genderfluid.
Let me get this straight: I am okay with being with a girl but not a boy. I’m okay with being with any gender but a boy. I’m not those type of people who still think boys have cooties. I just think that being with a boy is not right for me, as a person. However, I do create friendships with boys sometimes. Boys have had crushes on me before.
So if I fall in love with any gender but a boy, what does that make me?
*I am 12 and a half, and I am a cisgender female.