I hate making these posts, I really do, but my mum is a narcissist and doesn't give me a second of peace. TW: SH, abusive parents
So my mum told me to clean the bathroom, which I had no issue doing, and I was halfway done when she says shes coming in to check my progress. I had actually been having a good day, because it was my 3 week anniversary of being SH clean and my mum was going to buy me some technoblade merch because I had been feeling better lately. She comes in and immedietely starts moving things around and messing the bathroom up again. All the dirt I had collected in the hand towel that I was going to throw in the wash, she threw on the ground again and dusted out.
I just had had a long day and was so done. I started asking her what she was doing and soon we were screaming at each other.
She tells me that its all my fault and that she didn't know. She starts accusing me of only behaving when I want something, which isn't true. I never misbehave, I only argue with her when she treats me like garbage and expects me to not stand up for myself.
I say to her, "I've been trying to be better about my behavior. Im not just doing it to get things. I've actually been feeling really good all week because we haven't had a single arguement, and look now. If you want me to say that im a disappointment, then I will".
Funny thing is, earlier today my brother had an argument with my mum as well, where he got angry because she asked him to do the dishes. He screamed and cried and had a huge meltdown about it, except she treated him differently. She comforted him and promised to give him things if he behaved. She treats him like the golden child of the family because he doesnt argue with her like I do.
So now Im getting punished for something I didn't do. Or at least I don't think I did. I don't even know anymore. She gaslights me into thinking that everything that happens and every little mistake, even if im not involved, is my fault. I hate making these posts but I can't even go through a single week without her starting an arguement. I was actually feeling proud of myself today and I thought " wow im actually going to get through the day feeling good. Im proud of myself" and then she ruins it. I relapsed really badly after that. I hate this. I can't do anything about it until I turn 14, which is when I can tell the court which parent I want to stay with, but even then she's a snake and always finds a way to get what she wants. I'm scared of her. I try to be better but she ruins it.
Edit: She just came to my bedroom door and starts talking to me like everything's normal. She always does this. She abuses me and then acts like nothing happened. I asked her to please leave me alone, and she scoffed and called me dramatic. She said that she wont be ordering me or my brother any walmart food delivery (context: we had pretty much ran out of things to eat and now she's denying us that) and she walked away. Im done. She won't even take my phone off of downtime so I can't even talk to my dad.
- Dino/Wil/Wilbur (he/they/xe)
