How do you… come out?

Question

Okay, so yesterday I was angry and crabby (for… reasons) and hid in my closet crying and then realized how ironic that was. So I laughed. And then I started thinking about coming out. 

Everytime I look in the mirror, I don’t feel like me. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. The person inside me isn’t the same as the person outside I’ve become.

But if I came out, that would open up a whole new side of me. SooOoOo0oOoooooo000OoooOoO0 (unnecessary use of O) how can I?

I might wait till I turn 13 or till we have an actual house and not living off my grandparents. I think my mom will accept. She just doesn’t really get the community enough (and I mean she’s cishet as I’ve heard it called so). It’ll be really confusing to get the point across to my siblings if I do. And one of the reasons I want to get out of my grandparents is that im unsure that they’ll accept. My grandpa, MAYBE, but I have absolute doubts that my trump-supporting covid-doesn’t-exist grandmother will. 

I want to come out in a stupid funny way because that is kinda me. One of them I heard was that you answer the door and you’re like “Hi!” wait a few seconds “Alright bye.” They’ll ask “Who’s that?” and you say “A bro. HEY, SPEAKING OF A BRO-“

Have you come out? HOW DO YOU COME OUT? Help me pleaseeee

_{also somewhat unrelated but right now I feel that I’m pansexual :) I change so much no wonder I had such an issue figuring myself out}

Comments

When I came out I just “straight up” told my mom about it. I’m a pansexual. Maybe just bring it up in a conversation. Like “my friend is gay” or sum. My brother and dad are homophobic so I haven’t come out to them yet. Only my mom knows. It’s easier to judge their mood when you bring it up to see how they act,

Answer 1

i waited until pride month

got my flags, etc

and then told my parents

Answer 2

im guessing this is really hard on u. Luckily, i can help.

U R THE BEST U CAN BE AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE THAT!! U R AS HUMAN AS EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET!!! I FULLY SUPPORT U AND HOPE U CAN COME OUTTTT!!!

-dogwa

Answer 3

what do you mean by "Everytime I look in the mirror, I don’t feel like me. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. The person inside me isn’t the same as the person outside I’ve become" if you explain it might be easier to understand

Answer 4

Hey, I get it. Coming out isn't easy. I'm trans (nonbinary) and aromantic, and coming out to my family has been hard, but with enough explanation and confidence its been so much better. For you, I only have one main thing to say, and it's something that I've had to learn: Don't rush yourself. Don't force yourself to come out to people if you aren't ready.

As WN said, if you believe that coming out to certain family members will put you in potentially abusive or toxic environments, then don't. No matter how exciting and important coming out is, getting stuck in those environments is very unhealthy and can really diminish your self-esteem and confidence.

Also, your mum and siblings sound like really great people. I'm glad you have them in your life. They sound like they just need a bit of explaining. Maybe you could sit them down (family meeting, perhaps?), crack a few jokes, maybe gay/queer jokes, and then get to the point. All they need is some explaining and im sure its going to be okay.

Or you could do your idea, which is also very cool. I love LGBTQ+ jokes :)

I wish you the best with coming out, my friend. Im sure it will be alright. Just know that even if some of them don't accept you, all of us on KT will. We all have to/have had to go through the same things you are, so we understand 100%. Its all part of the journey.

- Dino (he/they/xe)

Comments

I don’t think I’m ready quite yet. But that’s really good advice. Especially since I still ask myself “ARE YOU SURE YOUR NOT STRAIGHT?” since I’m so indecisive lol. I will definitely wait a little while.

I don’t know if I even will come out to my grandparents. They’ll just casually walk into my house (once I have one) and look at the massive lgbtq flag I plan on getting and go “What?” ESPECIALLY THE RELIGIOUS GRANDPARENTS ON MY DADS SIDE, WHO PROBABLY WILL PRETEND I DONT EXIST AFTER THEY FIND OUT

I hope so, but you’re probably right. Although part of me thinks my mom somehow already knows because whenever I feel super depressed she’s like “I’ll love you no matter what” and “You’re still my kid either way.” IT’D BE SO AWKWARD IF SHE ALREADY KNOWS-

I still have to come out to my dad though. Who’s in another stinking state. He’ll accept though. Probably be the most accepting.

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

Answer 5

Alright. I'm saying this as a person who has only come out to a few close friends:

If you think that it might put you in an unsafe situation (as in, abusive) with your grandmother, then you are welcome to come out, but I advise you don't.

However, if it won't be unsafe and she just needs help understanding, if you tell her, don't be scared to not listen to her. What she thinks does not change you and her opinions and thoughts shouldn't have to matter to you for living freely.

As for your mom and siblings, then all you need to do is a bit of explaining. If they still don't understand, you can keep explaining.

Do you have younger siblings or siblings the same age? DO THE JOKE I BEG OF YOU I LOVE IT SO MUCH-

You don't have to, lol, I just think it's really good.

Comments

Won’t be abusive with my grandmother, but she probably would say something like “Well you’re wrong.” Although for all I know I’ll get the opposite reaction and she’ll tell me something like “WELL AS LONG AS YOU HAVE CHILDREN-“

That’s good advice. Thanks.

Yeah, I think my mom and brother’ll get it. But my sister is seven and is so confused on the fact that sometimes girls marry girls. And boys marry boys. I don’t even think she knows trans people exist. Though she’s little so she’ll just move on with life really quickly lol

I MIGHT DO IT SOMEHOW I JUST DONT HAVE A BRO WHERE IM LIVING YET SO WE’LL SEE. I MIGHT ALSO COME OUT AS WHAT IM FEELING AT THE MOMENT (“Mom, did you know I like pots and pans? Heehee, I’m pansexual.”

I can picture the look my mom will give me

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“I also happen to be the world’s biggest fan of cooking.”

Wow.

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I LOVE COOKING BUT SUCK AT IT DEARLY LOL

I JUST LIKE EATING THE FOOD AFTER

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I LOVE COOKING.

I made garlic pasta with pesto and chopped tomatoes for dinner last night (although, EST, so not last night for everyone). I do this way too often lol.

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I’ve never cooked before (either on my own or with help) but I want to. I’ve baked with help though before.

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Wait that sounds delicious

I just tried to make scrambled eggs and cheese for lunch and my grandpa had to supervise me and I swear he doesn’t know how to help or teach because if I did something wrong he did it for me. I’ve made scrambled eggs like THREE TIMES. HE SCRAMBLED THEM, DID MOST OF THE FORK WHISKING IN THE BOWL, AND TURNED ON THE HEAT CAUSE I FORGOT HOW THEIR ELECTRIC STOVE WORKED

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Elo, I love baking!

Sloth, I want scrambled eggs now lol.

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Am I the only one here who hates scrambled eggs?

Answer 6

I’ve only comed out to KidzTalk (and that’s all I plan for), so I can’t really help… but you could just jump out of a real closet and say “I’M [whatever you plan to come out as]!”

Comments

I thought you were straight?

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@Pizzalover44

She is. You can be straight and part of the community.

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Well yeah but I also thought she was Cis?

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Yeah. I’m asexual, someone who experiences no sexual attraction. I still experience romantic attraction, though.

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that makes sense I was actually thinking that after I commented that lol

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Also, I’m cisgender.