I came out to my mother.
Not gonna lie, I really thought I was ready, but half of me kind of regrets it.
We were driving home from a book fair thing, and I got a bazillion books. I kinda felt like as we were driving there that it was the right time. But I didn’t do anything until we were in the car and arrived home. I think my mom sensed I had to say something.
Me: *so terrified lol* So… mom. You know how I’ve said I don’t feel like me?
Mom: Uhuh.
Me: Well, I have to tell you something. I think maybe it’ll help? I don’t know how to say this.. but… uh…
Me: I’m abrosexual? Basically my sexuality changes over time.
Mom: Oh, okay. I had zero idea what that meant *chuckle*
*i dont really remember what happened next so ill skip a few parts. i was too nervous and my stomach was so twisty and it still hurts.*
Mom: You’re at the age where your aunts best friend realized she was gay. And besides, sometimes girls are hot and you cant deny it.
(HMM)
Me: I was kinda thinking you might react a little worse.
Mom: Meh, I don’t really care. If you one day came home and said “Meet my girlfriend, mom!” I wouldn’t give a s-
Mom: And anyways, you’ll always be my (insert my name.)
Me: Thanks, mom. *i felt so relieved* Er… this kind of made me uncomfortable *I am shaking like a lunatic now* so uh… can we forget about this?
Mom: I won’t bring it up unless you do. Also, don’t tell your siblings or your grandparents. And I can tell your dad for you only if you want.
Me: Okay, and no thanks. I can tell him.
So now I kinda wonder if I should have actually told her. I’m so relieved and at the same time really regretting coming out. I feel like maybe it was a little early. But I am proud of myself.
I may not tell my dad yet just because I realized I wasn’t all as ready as I thought.
But you know. One down, a lot more to go-
My stomach is still twisty and I can’t sleep. Anxietyyyyy. But maybe I’ll tell my therapist all about it after coming out to HER too!!
yeesh i believe something may be wrong w me
