I can’t stop crying.
I hate my family. My mom always has to get my dads opinion on something, so if I say no to like, lets say an ugly shirt, then she’ll ask my dad and he’ll turn it into an entire lecture on why that shirt might still be a good option. I don’t care.
ALSO, THEY FIGHT A WHOLE LOT. AUGHHHH
My brother is very dramatic and is sick at the moment. He threw up, but I don’t feel bad for him at all, because as he threw up he screamed “IM DYING!!” and burst into tears. He also didn’t get up to the bathroom, ignored my mom yelling to get over there, and barfed all over the floor while dramatically sobbing.
My sister is always tattling. She’s found out that “loophole” where she tattles but while talking to the person. As in “DON’T STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME!” but she’s loud enough that my mom can hear. So I respond with, “You did it first!” (which is true) and she’s like “LIARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” and throws the largest tantrums. Yesterday my mom said no to her and told her to go to her room. My sister decided that she would throw all her weight on every single step on the stairs, thump as loud as possible through the hallway, and slam her door closed with a last throw at the door. And the entire time she did that, she SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS NOT JUST THE ENTIRE WAY THERE BUT LITERALLY IN HER BEDROOM. I HEARD HER DESTROYING HER ROOM AND SCREAMING. ITS AWFUL.
My nana treats me like a child. If she gives me a present, it’s sure to be Disney princess stuff. She forgets that I’m not 4. That was more than 8 years ago.
My grandma is worse. Not present-wise.
My grandma is trying to get me to join the mormon church.
Well, pretty much everyone on my dads side of the family. You see, I have a lot of great-grandparents still alive, and most of them are in the church. SO IF I HAVE TO GO TO A FAMILY GATHERING, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO A LOT OF CHURCH TALK. AND MY FAMILY DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING TO ME, BUT IF THEY TALK ABOUT JOINING THE CHURCH OR BAPTISM OR WHATNOT, THEY ALWAYS AVERT THEIR EYES TOWARDS ME FOR A COUPLE SECONDS. LITERALLY EVERYONE. They give me this stare:
“Join the church, sweetie! Otherwise your going to H*LL HAHAHAHA!”
So you see my family.
Did I mention I think I’m in LBGTQ+? No? I thought not. Another reason why I don’t want to join the church.
I think I like both women and men. I’ve felt this way for two years now. AND IT JUST KEEPS ESCALATING. IM SO CONFUSED. I think I’m pan now, as I’ve realized that I like people personality-wise. I thought I was bi but then I also realized that I don’t care about the gender too much. I haven’t really seen trans men, but I have seen trans women, and tbh I think they are pretty cute. I like people based on looks and their personalities mostly, and haven’t thought too much on gender. So… yeah, I don’t know anymore. The fact that my family can’t understand is horrible enough, BUT I CAN’T UNDERSTAND MYSELF.
My friends aren’t very awesome either. One moved and one went to another group, so now theres four of us. A girl thats having thoughts on hurting herself, my “best friend” who's super judgmental and makes me hurt inside, a quiet friend, and a guy thats a boy who I honestly think is super annoying. I can’t figure out how to leave, because I’ll have no one to go to. I’m just in a bad situation. I can’t figure out anything anymore. So now you know why I can’t stop. I need help. Does anybody have any advice at all?
