Vent

Question

This is just a vent of all my bottled up feelings that I have nobody to tell.

Lets start with my sexualiy. Right now, I identify as Genderfluid and Omnisexual. Meaningthat basically my gender kind of just changed throughout the week/day. It also means I am attracted to everyone, regardless of gender, but do have certain preferences. Yet im still not sure about it. Im 12 right now, and I've already come out to my family, and I've known I was gay since I was 10.

When I told my dad he just went silent. I know didn't believe me and though it was just a phase. My mom was also really supportive but she also doesn't understand what im going through. Mind you, im from the US, and as a trans, or semi-trans (gender fluid is under the trans umbrella!) person, I don't really feel safe. Im not going to get into politics or anything controvercial, but you get the idea.

My mom divorced my dad when I was 10, and when she first told me I was sitting in the living room crying. Mind you I was 10 and barely even knew what divorce was at the time. Then she told me the thing that I've literally never been able to get over . She looked a crying ten year old in the face and said "Just get over it".

So I've never really connected with her. My dad, on he other hand, is amazing. I love him and I can tell him literally anythung. He's super religious but he's very supportive of me.

And yet I feel like somethings missing from our relationship but I can't say what. My dad is sweet, don't get me wrong, but the one thing I just want him to say to me is that he's proud of me. I don't know why but I just need it. I have undiagnosed depression, anxiety, social anxiety, anger issues, self esteem issues, and insecurities. I just want someone to say they're proud of me and that they love me.

Im sorry if this is awkward Ik this is really weird but...yeah. Anyone else have any of these? Idk I just really need support. Thanks :)

Answer 1

Aww, hey, I’m here for you and going through similar things! I’m also twelve questioning my sexuality (pansexual-polysexual-bisexual idk something), plus my parents are getting close to the brim of divorce, I have anxiety and depression… I really can relate. You aren’t alone. And you know what? I’m proud you’ve come out, especially at such a young age. I’m too scared and unsure… you seem to really be confident :) 

Your dad (and mom) will eventually tell you they are proud of you. I’m sure they are already proud, though they aren’t saying it to your face. Also, your mother probably didn’t feel like dealing with a crying kid after going through so much during that time and so, since she was irritated about it, she chose an unkind phrase. Sometimes kids connect with one parent over another, it’s okay if you and your mom aren’t very good “friends.” If you ask her about it one day, when you feel comfortable, I bet she’s going to say, “I said that?” My mom does it all the time  

It’s not weird at all. It’s very normal. Parents always find kids a handful, but it’s quite the opposite. I’m here for you if you need me! :D

Comments

Thank you so much. I genuinely needed this. I hope you figure yourself out and that your parents get things sorted out. Its good to know there are others like me out there, thanks :)

Answer 2

It's not weird at all!!!! You have my full support, and if anything happens, just remember that you are amazing!!!!!!